she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
