so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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