She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
