In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
