my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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