sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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