haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
