actually, I'm a sock model
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
