Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
your parents love me but you hate me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
