If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
