i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
