Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
