You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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