Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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