honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
