i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
