Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
