I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
pray to the hookup gods
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
