I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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