remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I didn't shave. On purpose
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
