he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
