Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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