return my video game
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
