I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
COCAINE IS GR8
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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