The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
