New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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