i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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