you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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