I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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