Welp...herpes.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
