1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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