There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
