What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
