We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
