thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
