there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
