I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
