Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
