sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
