We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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