that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
