you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
