I think I am morally bankrupt
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
