I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
