i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
