I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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