I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
