Whod you bang
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
