Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to sanitize my soul.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
