we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
