I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
