she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
