I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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