i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
