All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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