god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
