Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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